Batman has the Joker, Superman has Lex Luthor, and as a young dad, I had Ivy Fishman’s Father. Everyone should have, and maybe needs, an Arch Enemy.
Growing up, I had many friends. Some donned the title of BFF (Best Friends Forever) for a day, a month, or maybe even an entire summer. Some of these lifelong friends became acquaintances, then only contacts, and eventually just memories. It's easy to grow apart from a friend when all you do is coast. Simple to drift away if there is no confrontation. And even easier to go your separate ways if you're not willing to be pushed into growth.
My life has been filled with friends, associates, comrades, and companions. But my most revered relationships were with those that I bumped heads with. I treasure my Arch Enemies.
An Arch Enemy gives us a purpose in life; an evil that must be vanquished. A duty to our greater self and an obligation to the others that they affect and infect. An Arch Enemy makes us feel better about ourselves because if there exists a person that bad, maybe, possibly, we are that opposingly good. An Arch Enemy tests our courage, wit, and resolve, proving that true strength comes from overcoming adversity. Just like diamonds form under pressure, we evolve through these conflicts. Each confrontation is a chance to learn, adapt, and become a better version of ourselves.
I break Arch Enemies into three groups: there are the Evil Doers, the Moral Mirrors, and the Annoyingly Nice!
The Evil Doers are the ones of comic book legends; they are the Yin to the Superheroes Yang. It is easy to see why they must be stopped. The other two are more subtle in their vicious ways. They serve as a mirror, showing us our morals and values. Through this reflection, we're reminded of what we stand for and who we want to be.
The Moral Mirrors give us a peek into a gray area of malevolence. They do things that we could justify doing ourselves but once demonstrated we see the destruction. They are the ones that show us the light by stepping into the dark before us.
Ivy Fishman’s Father was Annoying Nice. He was as far away from evil as one could be. He helped out at the school, was forever the first to volunteer, and was always willing to lend a hand. He was adored by the students and parents, incessantly cheerful, and always had something nice to say. I saw in him the guy that I wanted to be but wasn’t. I saw the time and effort he gave to others that I couldn’t; I felt the joy he brought that I didn’t. So, of course, I despised him.
Over time, I realized that my real Arch Enemy is the guy I see in the mirror each morning; the guy who just wants to coast. My adversary is the part of me that says I’m not good enough; the voice inside my head that allows me to quit. But I fight through those thoughts because I’ve realized that if Ivy Fishman’s Father can do it, I know that I can do it too.
Sometimes the reflection gets blurred, and we see what we want to see. Often, we get a glimpse of our real self in the eyes of another, and we don’t like what we see. Other times, we see something that we want to be but can’t; something we dare to be but are too afraid to try.
So, who is your Arch Enemy? How will you face them today? Because when you confront the challenges, when you rise against the odds, that's when you truly become the hero of your own story. And that is how you master happiness.
The benefits of an Arch Enemy
As seen in Stroll, Hawthorn Woods CC Magazine. Follow “Bacon Bits with Master Happiness” on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon Music, Audible, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
Marty Jalove of Master Happiness is a Corporate Coach, Business Consultant, and Marketing Strategist that helps small businesses, teams, and individuals find focus, feel fulfilled, and have fun. Master Happiness stresses the importance of realistic goal setting, empowerment, and accountability in order to encourage employee and customer engagement and retention.
The secret is simple: Happy Employees attract Happy Customers and Happy Customers come back with Friends.
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